A lot of you guys are reblogging the post about my mom’s wisdom, which is rad but you need to know why she’s such an awesome lady.

That woman next to me is my mom (shocker. I’m also about 4 inches taller than her irl). Her mom, my grandma, is the ultimate cuban head boss bitch in charge and she takes no shit at all. Just to give you an idea of who my mom grew up around, Grandma was 16 year old, 4’6” firecracker when she fled Cuba when castro came to power. She didn’t speak a word of english, couldn’t swim her parents were not allowed to come and she had to take care of her two siblings in America, where they lived with some relatives. She eventually married, and divorced, my grandpa, whom she met in English school (he’s a mexican immigrant)

Anywho, back to my mom. Her older brother (as is typical in a lot of latino households) was a spoiled, macho brat who didn’t do jack shit so she held down the house when her parents split when she was 14 and my grandma was working crazy shifts as a nurse to support 3 kids in addition to making sure my grandpa was okay/fed because, although he’s reformed now, he was pretty typically macho im-a-man-i-dont-cook at the time.

My mom was a supermegafoxyawesomehottie when she was younger (actually she still is, she gets hit on pretty often). I may be a serial dater sometimes but by all accounts my mom was continually wiping blood off her shoes due to all the hearts that got thrown at her feet. However, when she was a bit younger than I am now she started dating this guy who wound up being a stalker. At one point, he showed up at her house with a knife and said he kill himself right then if she said she didn’t love him (which is eerily similar to a previous relationship of mine but that’s a different story). Last time he sought her out, I was maybe 3 or 4 and I’m currently 19 for reference. Not only that but my mom was employed from the time she was 16 on and when she graduated high school she didn’t have the money for college so she went into real estate instead. She eventually started her own motherfucking company with her brother and father, which she eventually sold, although she’s never left that industry.

Now, let’s talk about her and my dad since they have a pretty rad love story

Here’s them laughing. Also, seriously pay attention to this shit because it’s going to blow your mind about dating rules and why you should say fuck ‘em.

So, he was a water polo-football jock who was kicked out of the house by his crazy mom. She was a slightly darker, quiet freshman when he was a senior.

And he was my uncle’s best friend. Yes, that’s right, my mom’s douchey older brother. So my mom was dating three guys in her late 20’s and she didn’t want to get married or have kids ever (she recently told me over dinner “I was fine just dating all three of them, they were all great guys and between all of them I was pretty sorted” See? Baller.) but my dad had a serious existential crisis one day and just sobbed for hours realizing he wasn’t committed to anyone, wanted a family and wasn’t living his life the way he wanted to (although he had ladies everywhere and threw epic parties that are the stuff of legend). So what did he do? I went down to my mom’s office, knowing full well my uncle was out of town, and asked if my uncle wanted to go out. Acting disappointed  he asked my mom, casually, if she wanted to go out for a drink and maybe some dinner. She said yes, since he’d basically been in the periphery of her life since she was maybe 13 or so and, after drinks and in the middle of dinner, my dad blurted “We’re going to get married and you’re going to be the mother of my children.”

My mom nearly cried laughing at him and brushed it off with an “okay, Chris” but they made plans to see each other again. When my mom got home that night, she told every guy she was dating it was over because she met someone and it was serious. 

2.5 years later they were married, then I was born about a year later. 5 years after that, my brother was born and my mom knew shortly after his 3rd birthday something wasn’t right. My dad wouldn’t let her go check him out and one day she told him to suck it up and, lo and behold, my brother was diagnosed with Autism. Now, I remember them arguing a lot in that time. My dad didn’t accept the diagnosis but my mom was pushing for therapy, we uprooted to move to a place with a better school district (we were literally living in the farm town at the time) but she got him to accept that my brother was just how he is and that’s it. Since then, my parents have had a rock solid relationship. They still act like a young couple a lot (which is fine but occasionally ventures into throwing-up-in-my-mouth territory now that I’m old enough to understand all the innuendos), go out on dates, kiss each other all the time and she knows when to just sit back and lift her eyebrows slightly when my dad and I get into it over gay marriage or something. They fight, of course, but they always resolve it and she completely balances his intense neuroticism. 

TL;DR:

• From fierce latina stock
• Kept her family together from the age of 14 on
• Entrepreneur despite lack of formal education 
• Got mad a$$
• The complete rock in my parents relationship
• Has a pretty adorable relationship with my dad
• My mom is a badass.